Keeping Promises to Myself

One of the things that irks me beyond measure is when someone makes a promise to me that they don't keep.  Barring extenuating circumstances, it has always been a pet peeve of mine, so I try my best to keep my promises to others. The hardest person for me to keep promises to, however, is myself.

Here's a story about why promises are such a big deal to me:

I once dated a man who promised to take me to his best friend's wedding in Charleston, SC. I got really excited because it was a big-deal wedding in a beautiful part of the state and packed a bag, and then Mom asked me what trip I was planning. She got excited too, so we went shopping for an appropriate outfit, matching jewelry, shoes, and even got a clutch that matched the dress perfectly.

The day he was supposed to pick me up for the trip, I stepped out to the driveway with my overnight bag and garment bag, and let him know I was waiting on him via text. For three hours, I sat on my overnight bag in the driveway, calling or texting him every 45 minutes or so. He never picked me up. He told me later that he'd gone ahead without me...

I should have dumped him right then and there. Two weeks later, after some smaller promises weren't kept, like dates to good restaurants in our hometown, I broke it off. He kept calling and texting for at least a month after, asking why I had dumped him even though I told him exactly why I had dumped him, and finally I just stopped answering the phone. He got the message or got tired of asking, I'm not sure which.

I've decided to make one big promise to myself, and put a string on my finger to remind me of that promise every day. 

This ring I'm wearing is actually three. The two narrow bands I wore on my middle fingers for years without taking them off, and the one in the middle I have appropriated as a promise ring for myself. It's pretty all together, isn't it?

I promise that whatever happens to me now or in the future, I will not fall into past bad habits. I promise to never make excuses for people who pretend to be my friend because I want to be friends with who they are pretending to be. I promise to listen to my gut and what it tells me about people and places, and to act on those feelings. I promise to be faithful to those who have never lost faith in me, though I have in myself. I promise to wait for the man who fits my criteria and I fit his, learn to become friends with him and him with me, and then we can date if we find it has progressed to that point. I promise to spend the time to find what I love about myself and to relish those qualities every day once I do. I promise to try every single day to not blame myself, to not feel ashamed of my past or guilty for the decisions I made, to forgive myself when I falter or fail, and to keep moving forward.

This is the first time I've made such a big promise to myself. I hope I can keep it.